Like like all customs which disappear in time, our wedding customs are becoming a thing of the past. Front selecting the appropriate girl to going to ask for her hand, from the approval of the prospective marriage to becoming engaged, from the purchase of outfits to invitations to the wedding, all our customs have been either abandoned or altered. Nevertheless, there are still customs which are observed in fethiye and its villages Selecting the appropritate girl.

The girl used to be selected by the mother, sisters, aunt Of the groom-to-be or by the neighbouring ladies.Today The girl is selected by the boy and,if both parties are Ogreeable, the asking for thehand is task of the  Family. The selection is based on the good Housekeeping, cleanliness, hospitality and general altilude of the gill. If the girl is found suitable, he! Family is notified that a visit is planned in the neoi future to ask for ler hand.

Asking for the hand of the qirl In Fethiye and the villages, Thusdays are chosen for the visit to ask for tie hand of the girl. The most scary aspect for the visitors is maneuvering the conversation to finally asking to' the hand of the girl  Experienced, elderly members of the family are taken along for this purpose. Sometimes the religious leader of the village or the village teacher accompanies the visitors. After the loyal entertainment, one of the elders seize the opportunity to say, "We are here for a favourable task. By the command of God and the word of [he Prophet we are asking for the hand of your daughter Elif for our son Ahmet.'' thus passing the ball to the host, The father of the girl does not reply at once, To gain time and not to appear eager, he says things like, "May it go well, we will discuss it among ourselves; we will also consult with our daughter and lei you know later After pondering a while, if they are not fovourably inclined, they either say, "Our daughter is very young and it is the turn of her elder brother, look for your lot elsewhere," or refuse politely. If they ore aqreeable, mutual decision is token in connection with the dales for agreeing to give the girl and the engagement party. Gifts and sweets are taken along for the asking for the hand and ot the approval of the prospective marrige.

Approva of the prospective marriage If the girl's family is favourably inclined, the boy's family is invited once again, the girl's family declares their approval and bestows their good wishes on both parties, sweet are served, promissary rings ore put on and the dote lor the engagement party is agreed upon.

Engagement

Engagement follows the approval of the prospective marriage. Not long after the latter, engagement ceremony takes place on the designated date. With the approva of the girl's family, the engagement is carried out at home in the presence of relatives. The engagement rings are put on by a man who has married only once.

Rani for the fiancee The prospective bridegroom sends a ram to his fiancée at the Fiest of the Sacrifice. The ram is hennaed and decorated. If it is affordable, a bracelet is also lied to the horn of the ram. The girl's family either buys material for an outfit for the bridegroom or sends the outfit itself.

Gear This is the term for all purchases for outfits. If is carried out prior to the wedding. The families of the girl and .the boy come into town on a designated date. Items to be purchased are established beforehand and are bought one by one. Items purchased for the girl's family are paid for by the boy's family and vice versa. This is called "purchase of the gear''.

Display of the flag At the village weddings which last three days and three nights, a week before the wedding the flag is hung to the boy's house.It is thus much easier for the guests who have received oku (invitation) to find the house. Also, during the bridal procession the flag is carried at the front of the crowd.

Distribution of Oku (invitation) Invitations are distributed at least a week before the wedding. Items like glasses, matchboxes, towels, handkerchiefs, socks, shirts, bars of soap are distributed to each house which appears on .the list prepared beforehand. There is a saying which goes as follows: "That which spoils a wedding is Oku". This is to ensure that no one is overlooked,

Wedding In the villages of Fethiye the weddings last three days and three nights, starting on a Friday and ending on a Sunday, This is called "tying the head on Sunday". If the wedding starts on a Tuesday, the head is tied yn Thursday. The first day is devoted to the transport of trousseau and pounding the wheat, the second day to wrestling and putting on hennae, and the third day to the bridal procession.

Bride

The bride makes a tour of the village either by car or on a horse, or, if the houses are cose to each other, on foot and it is imperative that she calls of a mosque on her way. As the bride gets off the car or the horse, coins or candies are sprinkled over her. This is carried out by her mother- or father-in-law. A livestock is slaughtered and it blood is smeared on the foreheads of the bride and the groom, and they jump over the sacrifice.

When the bride gels off, she is not taken into the house immediately. One of her relatives asks for "lowering" from the father, mother, sisters and brothers of the groom. In all the villages of Fethiye, when the bride enters her new house, a beautiful baby must be placed on her lap. It is believed that if, for example, a pair of scissors, eft open during the civil ceremony, is closed afterwards, the marriage would be long-lasting. During the ceremony if the bride steps on the foot of the groom, she will be dominant in their married life and vice versa.

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